A very long month

We apologize for not writing much lately. Life has been keeping up really busy - and has dealt us with some frustrating moments recently. So it's now 6:23 am and since I (Jenny) don't seem able to sleep in longer than 6-hour intervals anymore I'm awake, my head running with a thousand thoughts. I've been sick for weeks - part of it just plain sickness coupled with travel, stress and mental exhaustion on multiple levels and finally after returning from the US, my body just broke down two days ago. We trudged in a snowstorm to the doctors office to find out I have a sinus infection and an ear infection - which has been quite painful (and why I wake up so frequently). I only felt a sense of relief when the doctor told me because I was beginning to think I was going crazy and was happy to have a name for my ills. The snow was beautiful - and it was amazing how it didn't get all black and smooty the way it does in NYC. Of course the Israelis had no idea what to do with the snow, most roads weren't plowed and almost everything remained closed (even with just a few inches!).

A few weeks ago we were scheduled to go to London and Scotland for a one-week vacation following Evan's finals. The day before we were supposed to leave, we noticed something wasn't right with Vicious Kitten. After finding a vet and spending 2 hours with him that night where we ran many tests, including an ultrasound and hooked her up to an IV, we knew we weren't going on that trip. After bringing her to the vet every day for 14 days (where she received liquids via an IV, had many blood samples taken and received a daily dose of antibiotics) she has recovered and has a whole new zest for life. We are so grateful she is doing so much better. She is back to her old self, eats more now than ever and seems to have become even more of a princess than before! Our friends in London and Edinburgh understood - and it was just another reminder that we can only plan so much in life and then the rest happens...And god willing, we'll celebrate chai (18 = life) birthday in Jerusalem in April. I can think of no better fitting place to celebrate life than here in this city.

Speaking of which, last night we received some very upsetting news about some of our friends here. It's still confidential so I can't give details but let's just say they are facing some really scary health and medical issues and will be returning to the US far sooner than planned. The whole thing hit really close to home and even with my body that feels heavy with infection I am trying to send them positive energy and strength, for they will need it in the coming weeks.

We too are battling our own internal fight with HUC. Every time I think about it my blood pressure seems to rise and as many of you know, last year they assigned Evan to the LA campus, our second choice. We think LA could be a really great city and it would be amazing to be close to Phoenix and to my family - but were very upset by the arbitrary nature of how the school assigns students to campuses. We recently wrote a damn good appeal letter and it was rejected (as were 4 out of the 5 other people who appealed). The school cites reasons like needing a certain amount of students on each campus which is not a sufficient answer when we are dealing with something as big as the next 4 years of our life. I can't get into all the other thorny details on a public blog, but let's just say this whole experience has not been pleasant. Meanwhile, I was just in the States for my last Wexner conference in Florida and then flew up to NY for a very short period of time for job interviews. I had many - so many that my head is swirling with thoughts about what I want and am feeling totally mentally drained. We're in a very weird place these days - fighting a school that doesn't seem to care two shits about its students and because I work there there is another layer of complication. I know all organizations are bogged down in inefficiency, bureaucracy, and arcane policies - but HUC has shown me a whole other side of this - heck, I think it gives NYU a run for its money in terms of organizational hoops you have to jump through (and it's probably 1/100 of the size or budget of NYU).

The thing is that we feel really unsettled. We have for the past 8 months since this whole mess happened. It's no longer just about a geographic difference between NY and LA, as we said LA isnt such a bad place and could offer us some fantastic new opportunities - but increasingly becoming about the messed-up, unfair and totally arbitrary process and bullshit HUC is putting us through. So many things have happened recently that I know we can only plan so much...and that everything works out in the end...and that health issues can trump everything...but still we are filled with so much anxiety, wondering, waiting, fighting, stressing these days.

We'll keep you posted as the drama continues to unfold. Meanwhile I cant help but think about how it's the wee hours into February 1st and it's time for a new energy...a letting go of sorts...always easier said than done...